Irreplaceable
by MaybeWeAre
Summary: Emma finally tells Regina that she wants to go back to New York. Regina never expected that she might be one of the reasons Emma is leaving, or that she'd be so upset to see her go. Rating for future chapters.


"I'm going back to New York."

The words fell heavily between them, and Regina for once was at a loss for words. She just stared at Emma, watching that sheepish smile creep up onto the blonde's face.

"Don't freak out," Emma said belatedly, lamely. "We'll figure things out with Henry. He loves his school and friends in New York, but you're his mom, you know? It's your call."

Regina kept staring. There were a million things she wanted to ask, mostly why. Why Emma would ever want to leave. But that was selfish, that was the kind of thing Emma would get from her parents, so Regina said nothing.

"Take some time to think about it, I guess," Emma added. "And then we can talk to Henry about it."

"Why?" Regina blurted out.

"Because I think he'd like to have some input."

"No." Regina was now looking directly into Emma's eyes, piercing. "Why are you going?"

"Oh." Emma stared down at her hands, taking a moment to think as if she'd never imagined that anyone would ask her that question. "It hurts too much. I've been replaced so many times in my life and I can't take it again."

Regina nodded sympathetically even though Emma didn't see. "Your parents haven't replaced you," she said softly. "Just because of the baby…"

"You didn't hear them, Regina!" Emma snapped, finally looking up again. "In Neverland in the stupid truth or dare cave. I'm too old and too damaged and they want to start over."

At that, Regina got up from her chair and moved to sit beside the blonde on the sofa. "I'm sorry, Emma. I should have been there."

Emma just shook her head. "No, you were right not to come. You're always right."

Regina arched her eyebrow. "Is that so?"

Emma laughed, and the brief moment of emotion broke the dam and she was crying, too. Regina wanted to do something, anything to comfort her, but she didn't know what. She tentatively tried to reach out and touch Emma, her knee, her shoulder, the small of her back, until Emma noticed her hand hovering awkwardly over her and grasped it with her own.

Their fingers intertwined too easily, and Regina stayed silent for a moment to rein in her own emotions. "If I'm always right," she said, once she'd forced every emotion but empathy out of her voice, "then you should listen to me."

Emma gave her a half smile. "Why start now?"

"I'm serious." Regina squeezed her hand for emphasis. "Your parents are idiots, Emma, but they love you more than anything. It's going to be hard, watching them with your brother, but you don't have to run away."

Emma looked down at their hands, running her thumb over Regina's skin. "It's just… It's not just my parents, you know? Everyone who matters is replacing me."

"I'm pretty sure Hook still worships the ground you walk on."

"Everyone who _matters_," Emma repeated.

"Henry, then," Regina pointed out. "He might have replaced me with you before, but he's never going to stop adoring you."

"I haven't spent more than five minutes at a time with him in a week."

Regina let go of Emma, got up, and paced to the far end of the study. "So now this is my fault?"

"_Regina_." Emma was on her feet, too, although she didn't dare approach the other woman. "Stop putting words in my mouth."

The brunette spun around to face her. "I had to go a whole year without him!"

"It's not you, Regina," Emma said pointedly. "I'm not jealous of you."

Regina opened her mouth to speak, but a voice came from the doorway instead. "Everything all right, ladies?" She turned to see Robin at the door, glancing briefly at Emma before fixing his gaze on Regina. And despite everything, despite the fact that she really did want to be there for Emma, she couldn't help smiling. Anyone else would have turned on Regina immediately upon hearing the steadily rising voices and seeing the tears in the Savior's eyes, but Robin was instantly, always, on her side.

"I was just going," Emma said, and Regina glanced back at the blonde to find that she looked absolutely crushed. Emma shouldered past Robin and stormed out of the room, and a moment later Regina cringed as she heard the front door slam.

"What's wrong?" Robin asked.

"She wants to leave Storybrooke," Regina said, looking past Robin and into the hall as if Emma would reappear. "She feels like her parents are replacing her with the baby, and Henry's replacing her with…" Regina thought through the past week, trying to figure out who, exactly, Emma thought was monopolizing their son's time. Robin taking him fishing, Robin teaching him archery, Robin teaching him to ride…

"With?"

Regina's eyes widened as she considered. Sure, Henry was impressed with his mother's new boyfriend, but he would drop anything for Emma. Regina knew that, and so did the boy's other mother.

Emma wasn't talking about Henry at all.

Regina snapped her gaze back up to Robin, affection replaced with panic and apology. "I'm sorry, I have to go," she said quickly, and she tore past him and out the door.

It all made sense. All of those almost-moments they'd had between Emma's return to Storybrooke and Regina's first kiss with Robin. The looks Emma gave her when she saw Regina's giddy smile, annoyed at first but gradually sadder and sadder.

Emma's car was still parked on the street, the driver inside and leaning her head forward against the wheel. Regina opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. Emma didn't look up, but she didn't tell Regina to leave, either, so the brunette shut the door behind her and stayed. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Emma sat up, eyes blearier than before and fixed on the road ahead. "I've never seen you smile as much as you do with him," she said softly. "You deserve to be this happy, Regina. And that's why I have to go, because if I stay I'll fuck things up for you." She glanced at her passenger out of the corner of her eye. "I'm doing it already."

Regina could see Robin standing on the porch, and she deliberately turned in her seat so that she wouldn't have to look at him. "I'm happy," she said. "Mostly because no one has treated me the way he does in a very long time. No one looks at me like he does."

Emma tensed. "Please get out of my car, Regina I can't…"

"I don't love him," Regina blurted out. And it was true. He was a comfort, a wonderful man, good with Henry, good in bed… At first she'd blamed it on not having her heart, but it was back in place now and it was still numb around Robin. "If he left and never came back I'd be sad, but I'd move on. I think I'd miss Roland more than I'd miss him." She reached for Emma's hand, easily this time. "But it would kill me to watch you drive away again."

Emma turned to meet her eyes. "Yeah?"

"If you go back to New York, Henry and I are coming with you," Regina added with a firm nod.

"I don't know where I want to be," Emma replied softly.

"Wherever it is, I'll be there with you," Regina promised.

Emma smiled, and her eyes shone. And it was nothing like the way Robin looked at Regina. He adored her, maybe, but Emma loved her. Loved her so much it hurt. Enough to leave behind everyone she loved to let Regina play happily ever after with someone else.

"No one will ever replace you, Emma," Regina said. "No one _can_ replace you."

Regina wasn't sure who made the first move, but they kissed, and she held Emma the best she could across the front seat. She didn't look up to see if Robin was watching. For the next few minutes, where they were didn't matter. There was nothing more to the world outside of the yellow Bug, outside of Emma.

Emma pulled back, and Regina could see the old insecurity in her eyes, the inability to trust that anyone could choose her. "He's supposed to be your true love, though," she said. "I can't take that from you, Regina."

Regina closed her fingers around Emma's wrist and turned it until her hand was palm up between them. She stroked her thumb over the soft skin, the flower, the place where Robin's identifying mark would be. "You're not taking anything. This is my choice. Okay?"

Emma gave her a smile that, two years ago, Regina would have deemed pathetic. But the fact that it was so tentative, so wounded, only meant more. That Emma cared so much that she didn't want to mess this up.

"Stay with me," Regina added quietly.

Emma took the key out of the ignition. "Done."

"Good." Regina kissed her again, and then dared to look out the window to see Robin walking away. The right thing to do, she knew, would be to talk to him, to apologize, but she had no idea what to say. How could she make amends when Robin had risked his life to save her heart only to see her give it to someone else?

She was starting to suspect that it had been Emma's all along.

She took the easy way out, transporting them in a plume of smoke from the car to the couch where this conversation had started. Without the console between them, they moved into each other's arms effortlessly.


End file.
